Why do I have to Think???

I read an essay that got me thinking about the debate Husband and I are having about genetic screening of the unborn. I think Husband agrees (although I haven't brought up the topic for a few weeks) that eugenics is a questionable practice at best. I had not made the connection in my head that genetic screening with the option of aborting is eugenics. My concerns with the screening have been personal, the social and moral aspects are secondary. We as a society have become so enamored of science and scientific "progress" that we have crossed over into a realm of moral ambiguity without even a sideways glance.

I am presently concerned about what this means for me as a woman praying to be pregnant at this very moment. How will this play out with Husband and our child if God forbid we discover the child is not "perfect"*? What will it mean for me as an individual? Is it right to exert my rights as an individual and mother to have a child when the father is against it? What will that mean for the child? What would that do to my marriage?

And then I come right back to the decision I made at twenty-one. I feared Husband (who was a casual boy "friend" at the time) would resent having a child. I feared the child would know it was resented and have to live with that pain. I wish I could say that I thought at the time I was making the correct decision. At least I would find some comfort in that.

Perhaps I struggle more with the genetic testing because of what I have already experienced. I walked my personal moral tightrope and fell. On the wrong side. I don't want to fall again.